INTERMEDIATE PAPER 1 : WHAT WE SEEK IN LIFE

MODULE 7: The Joy of Letting Go

Mark Twain and the Shoe Shine Boy

Mark Twain has a servant boy who will polish his boots everyday after his morning breakfast. Mark Twain will sit down reading his newspaper and the boy does his daily routine polishing.

Mark Twain will then leave some food for this little boy for breakfast.

One day as the boy was polishing the boots; a thought came to his mind.  “Today I polish his boots, tomorrow I have to polish it again.  Why not I polish it tomorrow as it will get dirty by this evening.”

So one morning the boy did not polish Mark Twains’ boots.  Mark Twain was wandering why and he asked, “Are you not feeling well today or you forget to polish my boots?”

The boy replied, “Because I polish your boots everyday, I shall polish it tomorrow for you.”

Mark Twain kept quite and went to work. And the next day the boy continues his routine polishing again.  After completing his job, he found that Mark Twain did not leave him his breakfast.

He then queried Mark Twain why he did not leave some breakfast for him. Mark Twain looked at the boy and then replied, “Because you eat everyday, so you shall eat tomorrow.”

Giving-up for things that do not have any good values for our spiritual progress will be our next path of seeking what we tread in life.

The Joy of Letting Go

How often did you perform spring-cleaning in your house? How easy does it take you to throw away things that are no longer needed but have some sentimental memory with you?

Old letters, faded photos, smelly dolls, torn school notebooks etc. are some of the most difficult things to let go in our life.

What more those feelings both pleasant and unpleasant that we have been keeping in our heart for years. So are those thoughts of anger, greed and delusion.

Imaging if you don’t throw away those things not needed in your storeroom, where do you have more space for some new things to be kept?  We can’t keep holding those things in our mind, there will be no space left in our life.

If we keep it in our heart, it will become a source of sorrow later.  We must learn how to let it go.  It does not mean to throw things out or letting things be.  It is “renunciation.”

It takes a lot of courage to let go of certain things or thoughts that remain deep in our mind. Just as we do our housekeeping, we only let go what is necessary and accordingly.

The ultimate result of your ability to let go is the JOY you get.

1. The Prospective of Letting Go

a.  We have to work hard and the best we can in seeking what we want in life.  And by knowing the fact that life is changing, it is important for us to be aware that as things move-on (changed), we have to let it goes as necessary.

We should not allow ourselves drown in what we seek in life, clinging strongly to our old beliefs and paradigm, resisting to make changes in the stream of improvement.

The art of letting go is like the art of flower arrangement (ikebana).  Knowing that the beautiful bouquet of flower will fade away, yet you spend so much time, effort and concentration in making the best design and arrangement possible.

Even if that flower were to be artificial and when it gives way one day, one should not feel hurt or sorrow about the loss. One should be happy on the ability and effort put in to make that beautiful masterpiece.

b.  If we are not able to let it go, will these attachments lead us to further sufferings or no suffering?

The villagers’ use to trapped monkeys by placing some sweets in an empty coconut shell with a small hole cut just large enough for the monkey to place their hand in but not when they grasped their fist.

One can cure boredom through curiosity but there is no cure for curiosity.  The monkey, filled with the sense of greed, placed their hand into the hole and grasped on to the sweets and loss the whole great happiness in his life.

The whole process of growing up is actually a process of letting go.

We have left the toys that we called our Mascot in our younger day.  We gave up the smaller happiness of our school life for a greater one in the college.  Just like the parable of the snake’s skin, we also put down old things before carrying another new responsibilities, assets, way of living and even thinking.

If we one to climb high for betterment on the ladder of success, we cannot be holding onto the ladder. By letting go one leg or hand at a time we can only see ourselves moving upwards higher and higher.  Imagine what will happen to you if you were to let go all your hands and legs at the same time and you don’t have a rope tied on your waist.

Once there was a Zen Master who carries a young lady across the muddy stream.  His disciple who was with him was quite distracted by the act of the Master thinking, “How can my Master break his precept by contacting with a female body?” He was having this thought all the way before they reach their temple.

Knowing what is in the disciple’s mind the Master asked, “I have already put the young lady down by the river bank but why are you still carry her in your mind until here?”

Letting go means Progress.

Look into your own self and ask, “Is there something that I can grow into, or live up to, or go out off!”

In the parable of the Raft, once you have crossed over to the other shore of happiness, the raft is of no use anymore.  One should not be carrying that raft as we continue to climb the mountain of greater happiness. 

(Here the raft is actually referred to the Dhamma itself and the shore as Nibbana). One can continue to hold onto it as it still serves one’s purpose.

After a heavy rain, there were two firewood collectors went to the jungle to do their job.  After tying the wet wood they went back to the village. On the way back they found some better dry woods under a large tree. 

One of them suggested putting down the wet and heavy woods and taking with the drier and lighter one.  But the other man thinks differently, since he has already tied up the wet woods so neatly he must as well carry them back.

The progress of growing is like the growing of teeth.  If we did not remove the rotten milk teeth, where do the new teeth have the space to grow?

The ability to let go will give rise to Joy and not so much of fear.

2.  The Purpose of Letting Go.

The art of living is just to take just enough before it become perished and put it down when the time come.  By shaking the apple tree and let the fruits fall down, one only collect those apple, which are good.  After sometime if the apples began to go bad (change), one should not consume them (let go).

The purpose of letting go is to understand that sometime life change and changes will give rise to un-satisfactoriness.  And if we continue to grasp on it means that we are making ourselves unhappy.

Just like the wave surfers enjoy riding on the different height of waves, similarly is the art of life. We must be able to surf on the ever-changing situation in life.

3.  What to Let Go?

Letting go means to detach or not to hold onto things that change.

a.  Sensual Pleasure
These senses itself are constantly changing so are the sense-objects. 

b.  False Ideas
We must not allow wrong view to determine our direction of life. Sometime a paradigm shift is required to remove certain principles, bias or prejudice perception of life that have been rooted deep into our sub-consciousness.  One must give others the benefit of a doubt because everyone of us is born with an idea.

d. View of a Soul
“Is there a wave apart from the water, is there a self apart from the mind and body?”
The living entity of a traveling soul, after the disintegration of our physical body either is reborn into another life or waiting for the judgment day, is the most difficult view to let go for a learner who comes from a different background of religious teaching.  

This conventional concept is replaced with the Law of Kamma, where the arising of a new consciousness is caused by the cessation of the last consciousness. This event is called re-birth or re-linking consciousness.

4.  Overcoming Detachment

How to overcome detachment?

a.  a. Contemplation.
Making a constant right meditation or contemplation on the objects that one wish to let go.
Reflect on the consequences of attachment and the benefits of letting go.  Decide you choice.

b. Positive Attitude
By energizing great courage to accept the challenge to overcome the greediness in oneself.  Right Understanding and Determination shall be your positive energies.

The Buddha let go of His kingdom and family (not abandon them) in the search for the great calling in life. Reflecting on the 3 sights of misery (sickness, ageing and death) and the 4^th sight of renunciation, he accepted the challenge to seek the Truth with a right thought in mind.

In the event, the choice of letting go teaches us a painful lesson, we shall learn from the situation positively but not to cry over it or hold on it.  The art here is to live 100% of a moment and when things have to go, let it be with no regret or remorse by looking back.

No matter what you let go; don’t let your smile fade away or your sanity to deteriorate.

1. We need to let go because …

2. What are the easiest and tougher things to let go in your life?