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INTERMEDIATE PAPER 1 : WHAT WE SEEK IN LIFE |
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MODULE 3: Binding Friendship (1) |
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Types of People There
are those … who
do not know, but think that they know, who
do not know, that they know, who
know, what they do not know, who
know, that they know. The
first one can be classified, as a fool while the second one requires our
awakening. Enliven him and he
will surely progress. The
third one usually going out - seeking for truth and if we can teach him he
can definitely benefit accordingly. Finally
we have to acquire the knowledge from the fourth one who can inspire us to
grow and gain the goodness in life. "Good
Companionship is the whole of the spiritual life." -- the Buddha.
~ S.V:2 ~ It
is the beginning and forerunner of all the Goodness in life because it
provides the supporting condition for its' growth. Have
you ever pondered how a good friend comes into your life? Does it come by
chance? What about the purpose
of friendship? Is it a company to pass time with? Is it a place where you
can pour your problems on? Did
you take friendship for granted, as our friend change from time to time as
we grow? Who do you think are the main factors that motivate and encourage
our spiritual urgency to manifest? In
this second formula of Having Friendship
we shall explore the elements and the various method of strengthening
them. You can't lift by yourselves … The
main purpose of friendship is for us to grow mutually.
As we grow, they grow and when they grow, we continue to grow. With
a good friendship, one has company when in need. One is guided when in
lost and one gains more encouragement when glory comes to him. While
seeking friendship, one should not push for it, as it is a slow grooming
process and not an overnight task. It
requires a long-term investment of time, patience, understanding and trust. A
true friendship is irrespective of age, sex, race, religion, country etc. 1.
Element
of Kalyana-mitta (Spiritual
Friendship) A
friend encourages us to grow and improve in the elements that we lack such
as faith, generosity, virtue, knowledge and wisdom.
Therefore he must be a person full of … a.
Faith
(saddha) He
is confident in moral, spiritual and the intellectual aspect. He is also
trustworthy and able to carry himself.
He is able to inspire, motivate and give strength to others. b.
Virtue
(Sila) He
is one who is upright in his conduct and well disciplined such as
observing the 5 precepts. He does not have any ulterior motives when he
befriends you and he does not lie. He possesses the ability to console and
advice others. c.
Charitable
(Caga) He
is liberal and generous. He gives without expectations or attachments.
He does not crave for your wealth and he practices charity not only
from his pocket but also through his speech, time, effort, attention, etc. d.
Knowledgeable
/ Wisdom (Panna) He
develops wisdom that leads to non-greed, non-hatred and non-delusion. He
is a practical man and not merely talk.
2.
Expectations
of a Good Friend In
the Layman Code of Discipline (Sigalovada Sutta), the Buddha laid down the
following duties of a friend: A good friend shall … i.
Protect
you when you are heedless. ii.
Protect
your property when you are heedless. iii.
Become
a refuge when you are in danger iv.
Do
not forsake you when in danger v.
Be
considerate towards your descendents The
Buddha also defined the fundamental qualities of a warm-hearted friend. A
Real Friend is … i.
A
friend who helps … He
guards the heedless and protects their wealth. He becomes a refuge when
you are afraid and when the need arises; he provides you with more then
the amount required. ii.
A
friend who shares the same weal and woe … He
will confess his own secrets to you and never reveal your secret to
others. He will not forsake you during misfortune and even sacrifices his
life for the goodness of his friend. iii.
A
friend who gives good counsel … He
dissuades you from doing evil and persuades you to do good. He makes you
hear what you have not heard such as the truth and the Teachings of the
Buddha and points out to you the road to heavens. iv.
A
friend who sympathizes … He
does not rejoice in your misfortune but rather for your prosperity. He
restrains others from speaking evil of you (defending your weaknesses) and
praises to those who speak well of you (who spread your goodness). A
True friend is one who is following closely to the right way while he
secretly concerns his friend's welfare. In misfortune he will console you
and he always gives good advice. Most of all he know how to keep your
secrets. |
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Questions
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